Friday, May 7, 2010

Sleep Typing

A friend of mine informed me the other day that when I am significantly tired I use a very different vocabulary, in in writing, word, and even texting. (Don't worry, that vocabulary does not include cussing. I could never pull that off, even drowsy.) Another friend at one point in my life (the days of sleepovers and ever-present giggling) informed me of the fact that I talk in my sleep. This has been recorded on a number of occasions, the most recent being when I held a conversation with my friend Shelayne in her Logan apartment at 3:00 in the morning last October. I do not know what we discussed, but it was probably quite awesome, as all conversations with me are.

I have been extremely tired all day, thanks to the fact that I stayed up very late last night watching Robert Downey Jr. kicking butt in a shiny red suit with guns on it. (Awesome way to stay up until all hours of the morning.) In this state of mind, I have debated how I talk in my sleep, why I do so, and what it must be like speaking with me. I have never actually been mentally present when this has occurred, but being lightly familiar with my own mental capacity, I imagine I am still just as witty and intelligent as I normally am. (In case you are wondering, I am extremely witty and intelligent.) (PS, when I am tired, I believe I am also exceptionally humble. Also, sarcastic.) In my sleep, however, I am far more prone to say exactly what is on my mind, including all tangents and thought processes. How have I come to this conclusion? Elementary, my dear Watson.

It is nearing midnight-thirty, and I am so tired I can hardly see straight. Why am I on the blog then, do you ask? Because I am an insane person. I am addicted to my computer in the same fashion that some are addicted to heroin, soap operas, and diet coke. (Not Pepsi though; no one is addicted to Pepsi, because it is nasty.) That is why this post is here. Because it is evidence to the general public that I am a coherent sleep-talker/sleep-typer. (It is also evidence for myself when I'm awake tomorrow. I can just see myself going, "Lindsey, you imbecile, why did you post this? You are henceforth not allowed to sleep-blog.")

Why do I talk in my sleep? Because I have a lot of crap to say. In some social situations, I often don't say much, especially when I am less familiar with the people I am with. Sometimes there are periods in life where you are in unfamiliar situations more often than usual. My theory is that eventually the extra weight of all of the excess words in my brain overflow into sleep conversations. This is alright, however, because I am a firm believer that everything that comes out of my brain is surely good to someone, including the incoherent dribble you're currently reading.

Do I know where I am going with this post anymore? Absolutely not, good sir. I have no reason at all to explain why I started typing this in the first place. Perhaps it is because I didn't say enough today. Perhaps it is because I thought at some point this post would be a good idea. Perhaps it is only to get in a little bit of late night typing practice. I have a very good WPM, by the way. The number itself escapes me, but I know it's a good one. I'd go do the test now but that is boring and I don't wanna. I'm too distracted by Robert Downey Jr. in my head. So just take my word for it. I type a lot, and have gotten really fast.

Are you following me? Because I'm not following me anymore. I've gotten lost somewhere.

I have a random urge to talk about giraffes right now. Something tells me I should ignore that urge. Maybe taking the randomness too far. So I will leave it at this: I am very glad I'm not a giraffe. I think that would suck. I'm already too tall to logically wear heels (don't care, wear them anyway), and popsicles or suckers that turn your tongue a different color, such as purple, really irritate me. I feel unclean when my tongue is green. (HA. Rhyming. Comedy brilliance for the sleeping brain.)

I should probably stop this kamikaze thought process before it careens completely out of control. (I think we've passed the point of no return when I started talking about giraffes.) So I will leave it at this...


Do I have a moral to this post? A punch line? A conclusion of any kind?

I do not think so.

So, I shall end awkwardly without any true conclusion, summary, or point. Yay me. Guten Nacht.


Mr. Stupid said...

Wow. You typed all that while sleeping? Well done... hehe
Loved your post. Everyone sleep talks. At least I do. And now I know that you do too. Maybe, Sleep talking does happen because we don't speak when we are needed to.
Though, that doesn't make much sense in my case. I once said Barometers in my sleep!

Have an awesome day...:)

Anonymous said...

I like your use of 'midnight thirty' I think that is a great way to say it.
I like Pepsi. 'nuff said.
It's fine to ramble. I'm a firm believer in rambling.
You don't look tall in your photo; in fact you're looking up at me.
I don't believe blog posts need an ending; just quit, mid word even if you want.

ReformingGeek said...

Guten Morgen.

I hope you are still sleeping.

You did well for post red-suited Downey.

Writing Without Periods! said...

I am following you even though you aren't following funny. Love the post.

Anonymous said...

do you know your e mail does not work? when i leave a comment, i get an email saying :
This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.

Delivery to the following recipients was aborted after 0 second(s):


I got the same thing when I replied to a comment of yours on my blog that was emailed to me.

Our wonderful words lost in cyberonia. Oh, the tragedy.

sheri... said...

thanks so much for cruising by and commenting on my delightful haircut today! it's always nice to see a new face, and it always makes me curious enought that i have to find out more ;) girl, you are a trip...and a lot of fun too!

Lindzena said...

@ gregj: Odd, I didn't know that. That is the old email I once had my comments generated to. I just found out that email has been canceled and removed, which is probably the problem. Hopefully I fixed it though. Thanks for the info!

Cheeseboy said...

I think your punch line or moral is that there is no punch line or moral. Loved the Robert Downy Jr. "Elementary, my dear Watson." slide. Very clever.

Jingle said...

we are all day dreamers.
thank you for being you.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Hey, I'm impressed with your sleep blogging! I usually just say very stupid things with lots of typos.
And my WPM is terrible. No it, really is.

ModernMom said...

I think your sleep bloggin rocks! lol

tammy said...

I learned today that when you need a closer to a story that really has no point you should end with "but then I found five dollars".

My husband was laughing in his sleep the other night. I was not amused at his giggling. It made me wonder who he was giggling with.

Ally said...

as for sleep texting and emailing. i totally do this. i thought i was the only one. i wake up at odd hours and reach for my bberry and read ten comments received from all of the overseas readers who are up while we're dead asleep in the us. ha ha!

Ally said...

but i should add that i reply to them with one eye open half asleep!

Post a Comment

For commenting on this blog, you receive one cyber high-five.