Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Shall Rule The World

I reached a conclusion today. This conclusion plays heavily in my favor. Let me explain...

The internet is taking over the world.
I'm writing a paper on the inherit risks of online networking, and as such have done my research on this. You can find EVERYTHING online. Shopping, banking, vacation plans, photo sharing, music, stocks, friendships, books, businesses, jobs, education, organizations, news, blah blah blah... we have reached the digital age my friends. I am convinced that if I wished to become a fat blob in a dark room for the rest of my life, I could pull it off. You can have all of your needs mailed right to your door. If you get lonely, you can even buy an imaginary friend on eBay.

Who controls the internet?
The web designers and programmers do. Just as God created earth and now controls it, web designers create the web, and now control it. Dreamweaver is equivalent to Zeus's lightning nowadays. (I must suggest listening to Gary Wright while using it.)

Who controls the web designers and programmers?
About 98% of web designers and programmers are heterosexual males. (No... I didn't make this statistic up.) Inherently, the stereotypical computerized worker looks like this:

There is only one conclusion to be drawn from this. What controls the computer men? Anyone who has watched more than 30 seconds of the TV show Big Bang Theory knows the answer. Pretty girls.

What am I?
Miss Lindsey, the one and only, just so happens to be a pretty girl. No foolin'.
Miss Lindsey, the great and mighty, also just so happens to be a web design major.

Are you familiar with the transitive property?
If A=B and B=C, then obviously, A=C.
Replace the equal sign with the word 'control', or any synonyms thereof.
If A controls B, and B controls C, then A simply rules over all. In the end, all consecutive letters of the alphabet will cower in fear of the almighty power of A.

I am the queen of the nerds.
Not only do I do web design, but I have potential to control and manipulate all other web designers with my feminine influence.

I am a nerd, with power over other nerds.
The nerds control the internet.

The internet controls the world.

Therefore,
I shall rule the world.


Be afraid. Be very afraid.

4 comments:

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Wait, so a hot, smart chick is going to be in charge of the world? Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!! Sweet!! How soon can you start?

Lindzena said...

If everything goes according to plan, I think I should be running things within the next few years. Depending on how quickly this blog expands, I think. :)

ModernMom said...

LOL I love it!

Cheeseboy said...

Lindsey - this is so genius... said the fat, bloated man sitting in his basement cave, eating is Doritos.

Seriously, funny though.

Speaking of internet, your blog is the internet's best kept secret!

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