Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Joys of Blindness

I decided that, since I'm a web design major and all, I should make my blog look a bit sleeker. So... I did.

But anyway, my story: I was supposed to go to the optometrist last... uh... August. I still had two boxes of contact lenses left, and I was prepping to start school again. With all that going on, I didn't know if I could handle the scrutiny of, "Number one..... or number two? One.......... or two? Two....... or three?" They look the same, Mr. Glasses Man. (At this point, I must reference Mr. Brian Regan.) So I decided to not worry about it.

It is now April. I am on my last pair of contacts. They are all scratchy and uncomfortable, so I avoid wearing them. I am yet to schedule my appointment, so I have worn my glasses a lot more often lately.

This is an odd phenomenon for me. I first got glasses in 2nd grade, and back then I never liked them. I finally got contact lenses in 8th grade, and I was so very overjoyed, I promised myself I would never wear glasses again. That obviously worked out.

Now, I know some people who only need glasses when they work on the computer, read, or drive. Since I am officially and legally blind, I do not have this option. If I were to drive without my glasses, I would assuredly be convicted of manslaughter later that evening. So, I become the nerd. Not only am I majoring in nerd, but I look like a nerd. (An attractive nerd though, so I have no objections. Ya know, the whole librarian concept. In case you were worried.)

Nowadays, I do not mind my glasses. My only objections are these:
  1. When the sun is too bright, it looks awkward wearing both prescription glasses and sunglasses at the same time. Not quite as sexy as sunglasses on their own, but almost.

  2. I look really smart in glasses. Therefore, I feel as though I am lying to passers by about my supposed brilliance. Or... ok not lying, because I am a brilliant human being, but perhaps showing off? And if anything, I am humble. Probably way humbler than you.
There is, however, one amazing thing that I don't think I ever want to give up.

*Blurry Fairy Land*

The world is much, much more magical when you can't actually see it.

When, for example, it is past dark and I am a passenger in a car. I find myself taking the glasses off when boredom sets in, to watch the magical multi-colored orbs go by. You can't read the street signs, you can't tell if the guy in the car next to you is looking at you funny, the music is a lot easier to hear in detail. You expect your Fairy Godmother to show up at any time, or for the Fern Gully theme music to start playing. You get a lot of surprises, like "Whoa, speed bump!", or "Where is the french fry smell coming from?" At least you hope it's something pleasant like french fries.

Am I insane? Indubitably, though I prefer to see it as 'easily entertained'. If you mix this experience with some trippy 70's drug music, such as the famous "I Am The Walrus", then who actually needs drugs? Not I, my friend. Not I.

4 comments:

Cheeseboy said...

You just need some of those flip down sunglasses to go over your other glasses to wear... like that one dude had on "A Different World".

Lindzena said...

Oh super attractive bald-man 80's style! I think my 4th grade teacher, Mr. Duncan, was fond of those. I may have to look into it.

Corinne said...

I love the new look of your blog and I totally need glasses too, maybe we should go to the optometrist together.

Cici said...

Funny- same thing began with me today. I'm also on my last pair, have been wearing them for too long, and my prescription expired in February. I'm also bringing out the glasses. Hopefully after finals I can get in for an appointment.

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